Case Studies of Failure to Obey Godly Parents.

I recently emailed the following letter to a sister in Christ who is suffering from a heartbreaking experience of her niece failing to listen to her and her mother to leave an abusive relationship with the niece's boyfriend. 

Prayer for your niece

Andrew Sheets <>

Dear sister,

The Lord has placed this heavily on my heart to share with you and your sister during this difficult time with your niece. James and I have prayed for you, your sister and the deliverance of your niece.

There are extreme issues here at work regarding decisions children make. Please read and know this is sent in love.

Ephesians 6:1 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Colossians 3:20 - Children, obey [your] parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

Matthew 15:4 - For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.

Proverbs 1:8 - My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

Ephesians 6:1-3 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. (Read More...)

Exodus 20:12 - Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 - If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and [that], when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: (Read More...)

Proverbs 13:24 - He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Exodus 21:15 - And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

Proverbs 13:1-25 - A wise son [heareth] his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke. (Read More...)

Proverbs 30:17 - The eye [that] mocketh at [his] father, and despiseth to obey [his] mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

Proverbs 23:13-14 - Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. (Read More...)

Psalms 19:8 - The statutes of the LORD [are] right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD [is] pure, enlightening the eyes.

My dear sister in Christ. Please share this with your sister.

It has been most strong on my heart to share this with you and your sister regarding your niece and the hell she’s going through these days with that evil filthy reprobate man she’s involved with. For several months it has been on my heart to share with you personally in detail these words I’m writing and now especially after talking on the phone it has for these past few days been a tremendous burden placed on my heart to share these words.

Truly as the body of Christ has many members and when one suffers we all feel the suffering 1 Corinthians 12:26 KJV. Brother James has shared many stories regarding this situation and we’ve prayed over this.

Please allow me to share these 7 true personal stories with you so that you may thoroughly understand your situation clearly.

My story

Children obey your parents. It is rare that the same command be given so often in the Bible, especially crossing 3 dispensations (law, kingdom, age of grace). This is a powerful command with very dire consequences of which I learned, have been learning, and am learning on an almost daily basis for these past 42 years. I know you’ve warned your niece not to be with that man, to leave him and certainly to end that relationship. And it is clear she has failed to obey this. The reason is no excuse. In 1977 I met this woman when I was stationed overseas. We fell in love (lust) and couldn't wait to tell my parents we were getting married. My dad commanded me not to do it, my mother begged me not to do it. I did it anyway. I brought her to my parents home and the moment my parents me her in the airport my mother broke down in tears when she handed this terrible woman a bouquet of roses and the ungrateful, self absorbed woman tossed them aside, etc. Some months later my wife was pregnant and we went back to visit my parents. My father invited me out alone for breakfast to my favorite pancake house. My dad told me he had $4,000 in cash (equivalent to almost $7,000 in today’s dollars) and wanted me to take my wife to the airport, give her the cash and send her back to her mother. And even made arrangements for child support.  I realized how heartbroken my parents were as my father recounted several horror stories he and my mother observed with this woman and how things would only get progressively worse for me if I stayed with her. Nevertheless, I sharply rebuked my father and defended my wife. 7 years later, I called my parents crying bitter tears. I had recently returned from a 9 month at sea deployment and found out that my wife was in a relationship with another man. Here I was with small children and my wife was with someone else and apparently this had been going on for some time. I was also in tremendous debt even though I was making very good money. We soon had lost our beautiful home (my ex wife wasn’t making mortgage payments while I was at sea but rather spending thousands of dollars on expensive clothes and a sports car, etc. After 3 hard years in court we were divorced and I failed to get custody. I had to pay absurd alimony on top of the child support which I did not mind. And today… over 40 years later I am still paying that woman over $1,500. A month. She has put me through hell and back. She successfully turned my children against me. Etc… Before my father passed away I told him that the most painful lessons in life could be avoided if only I had obeyed him and my mother. Tears swelled up in his eyes. He shared how painful it was to watch me go through hell on earth that could have been avoided but I made choices.

My son’s story:

My second eldest son was a highly decorated combat officer with  3 combat tours. The Army offered him a huge cash bonus with guaranteed advancement and assignment options. I begged him to stay in but he didn’t listen to me but rather chose to get out and go to Theological Seminary. After he enrolled, he read me his theology textbook.  I begged him to get out of this apostate institution. The material actually questioned the divinity of Jesus Christ. He told me that he needed to get the Master’s of Divinity education in order to find a church. He disobeyed me. After graduating he got into a very bad group of people at Mars Hill namely Mark Driscol a complete wolf. When my son sent me some of the teaching it was beyond heretical. I begged him and commanded him to depart from this teaching. He refused and disobeyed me. After 3 years in this apostate teaching my son began calling me and commanding me to get into an accountability group and into his church system. He also had been bringing up lies his mother had planted. We soon completely stopped talking. On November 14, 2019 I received a phone call from my eldest son that my other son had killed himself IN HIS CHURCH OFFICE.

My daughter’s story:

Although my daughter had been brainwashed by my exwife, we still tried to maintain some sort of relationship. I begged her not to follow the false teachings of the garbage her university professor of anthropology was teaching her. My daughter was working on her master’s degree and got deeper and deeper into Eastern Mysticism and Gnosticism . When she and her university professor got a personal meeting with the Dali Lama my daughter told me she saw the truth and had an epiphany. She wrote to me and told me that the garbage I had taught her about Jesus Christ being the only way to salvation was beyond absurd and frankly despicable. I saw 3 phases of regression in my daughter’s life. Each step I asked her not to read or listen to false teaching. As she progressed her heart grew darker and darker. The wages of sin is death!

My 3 sister’s story:

All 3 of my sisters were beautiful women and all 3 married wealthy men. All 3 of my sisters disobeyed their parents and got involved in bad relationships, chasing money, prestige and power. My first sister married a wicked man. We begged her not to. After 30 years of marriage she finally got out after her life had been frankly destroyed. During the early years of  her marriage my mother and father fought frequently for my Dad and brothers to go beat up the man and kidnap my sister. My dad told my mom that my sister would run back to him and until my sister willingly left we could do nothing. Note: my sister defended that man all the time and would lash out in anger when we tried to tell her to get away. My next sister continually ran around with bad dudes. Drug dealers, alcoholics and all abusive both physically and verbally. I had to rescue her from a Drug dealer in a foreign country. She had been severely mentally and physically abused for over a year. I spent a great deal of money to rescue her. Shortly after she got back to the states she was in another relationship far worse and she warned me and my parents to leave her alone or she’d take legal action. She later married a wealthy abusive alcoholic and I will spare you the horror my family went through with that. This sister is now a poor broken down alcoholic living mostly alone. My third sister married a wealthy man that abused her. When she was diagnosed with terminal cancer she finally woke up to all the women her husband had even in their own home. She finally called my Dad to rescue her at the end of her life - at the early age of 39 she passed away. Her husband had her body disinterred to spite my family's wishes for a burial place.

Mary’s story:

While stationed overseas in base housing when I was a junior rank, my neighbor Mary was a pretty white woman married to an abusive, drunk, drug abusing black man who didn’t work. Mary worked long hours and while working her beloved Ernest would get high and drunk. Mary had implied that her family and friends didn’t understand or approve of her dear Ernest. I often heard disturbing domestic altercations. One night I called the police after I heard her screaming and begging him to stop beating her. She failed to file a police report and then threatened me with bad consequences if I got involved in their “personal business”. Finally one night Ernest beat Mary so badly she had to be hospitalized. I called the base police. When I went to their home I was horrified by the blood and destroyed furniture. Later that night Mary called me from the hospital and asked me to check up on Ernest. She was very worried about him. I angrily told her that Enrnest had been arrested and she cried and cried. When she got out of the hospital because of the drugs and police activity her sweet husband was involved in etc, Mary soon found her Navy career was over.

Jill’s story:

Jill was a girlfriend of mine that later met a wonderful young man from Turkey while they were both studying at Texas A&M university. Both Jill’s parents and I begged Jill not to marry the man. He as a Muslim and we knew he only wanted Jill to get a VISA to live permanently in the US. Jill disobeyed her parents and married the Turk. About a year after the marriage the Turk insisted Jill convert to Islam. When Jill refused he became violent and the abuse began. I was getting some information from Jill’s parents. From piecemeal information it was really bad. We will never know the truth to the extent of the hell Jill went through. Jill’s parents begged her to run away but she said she was scared and that she still loved him and that blah, blah, blah. When her father offered to come and pick her up Jill refused. Finally one evening Jill and her husband were in a shopping mall. Jill saw some old classmates and hugged them. Some of them were male and she hugged them in an acceptable western manner. When they got home, her husband locked the door and savagely beat her with his fists and a stick and his belt until she almost lost consciousness. He told her repeatedly that she would never insult him again and that if she didn’t become a good Muslim wife he’d kill her. Jill, promised him she’d convert and promised to be a good wife. After her husband left the house to go out “drinking” with his Muslim buddies and problaby meeting another woman, Jill called her father and asked for help. THEN and only then did her father step in and rescue her. There were phone calls made and the bastard was kicked out of the US. losing his student VISA. Years later, Jill still suffers from deep emotional and physical trauma.

Ellen’s story:

Ellen was a sister in Christ I had met through others. I was told Ellen had a most violent and tragic life. One evening after dinner on a warm evening in California, Ellen told me that she and her brother were raped repeatedly by their grandfather when she was a young girl. Ellen told me that her grandfather would read the bible while sexually abusing and raping her and then made her watch as he raped her little brother. Years later Ellen and her brother were taken by the state and placed in a foster home where she suffered more physical and emotional abuse. She would later meet a man and get married. This man was an alcoholic and abused Ellen in the most horrific violent manner. Ellen stayed in that relationship for years. Finally she got out after the man had almost killed her. I asked how she could stay in that situation for so long. She told me this and i quote:
“The answer is simple: It’s a curse and a spiritual thing that cannot be understood by human logic. A woman that is not under the covering of a godly man is living in hell because if she gives her heart to that man, she is “under his rule” The answer is found in Genesis 3:16 ( King James Version KJV)

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.)

Since your niece is an emancipated adult, she has been given the legal and moral status by her creator to make her own decisions and lives by these decisions, whether good or bad, accordingly. If your niece fails or refuses to obey her mother and you for this matter, she has God’s word to deal with. The choice is simple. Deuteronomy 30:19

“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:”

Although we want to spare our children from suffering from their bad choices, in the end it is God’s word that counts. If a child does not obey what their parents are teaching them, they are left to deal directly with God and God’s word stands eternal.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

God bless you.

Andrew Sheets


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