Dwelling on the past few years of my life seem overwhelming. Misfortune, hardships, soaring from lofty heights to plummet to the bottom, seemingly countless difficulties lead me to fall into a deep depression of failure and self-pity. I fight fear, doubt, unbelief; wondering if I ever really heard God right when he directed me to come here to this place. And thank God that still, small voice behind me said: “walk this way!” I reach for my Bible, groping around in the dark, I first find my cell phone and see that it’s only 03:09 AM. Find a flashlight and ask God to please help me find the right scripture and open my Bible to 1 Samuel 30. And read and reread this chapter several times. I know God has something for me here but I need more insight. I then go to Blueletter Bible commentary and find Matthew Henry’s commentary and here’s the excerpt God had me read:
"The mutiny and murmuring of David’s men against him (v. 6): David was greatly distressed, for, in the midst of all his losses, his own people spoke of stoning him, 1. Because they looked upon him as the occasion of their calamities, by the provocation he had given the Amalekites, and his indiscretion in leaving Ziklag without a garrison in it. Thus apt are we, when we are in trouble, to fly into a rage against those who are in any way the occasion of our trouble, while we overlook the divine providence, and have not that regard to the operations of God’s hand in it which would silence our passions, and make us patient. 2. Because now they began to despair of that preferment which they had promised themselves in following David. They hoped ere this to have been all princes; and now to find themselves all beggars was such a disappointment to them as made them grow outrageous, and threaten the life of him on whom, under God, they had the greatest dependence. What absurdities will not ungoverned passions plunge men into? This was a sore trial to the man after God’s own heart, and could not but go very near him. Saul had driven him from his country, the Philistines had driven him from their camp, the Amalekites had plundered his city, his wives were taken prisoners, and now, to complete his woe, his own familiar friends, in whom he trusted, whom he had sheltered, and who did eat of his bread, instead of sympathizing with him and offering him any relief, lifted up the heel against him and threatened to stone him. Great faith must expect such severe exercises. But it is observable that David was reduced to this extremity just before his accession to the throne. At this very time, perhaps, the stroke was struck which opened the door to his advancement. Things are sometimes at the worst with the church and people of God just before they begin to mend.GREAT FAITH MUST EXPECT SUCH SEVERE EXERCISES.. IT IS OBSERVABLE THAT DAVID WAS REDUCED TO THIS EXTREMITY JUST BEFORE HIS ACCESSION TO THE THRONE...... AT THIS VERY TIME, PERHAPS, THE STROKE WAS STRUCK WHICH OPENDED THE DOOR TO HIS ADVANCEMENT. THINGS ARE SOMETIMES AT THE WORST WITH THE CHURCH AND PEOPLE OF GOD JUST BEFORE THEY BEGIN TO MEND."
Oh Lord my prayer is that your will be accomplished in my life and your saints the church, the body of Christ. Grant me the grace to accept whatever, wherever you lead, and Lord I pray that my faith does not fail. Amen.
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